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Mentally exhausting from the boss

I’ve been at this office for almost 2 years, and my boss nonetheless a good dentist when it comes to her work and field. However, she has a habit of nitpicking at EVERY LITTLE THING, talking down on my coworkers and I, blow up at little things, always blame us for any mistakes that there is (and never admit her own mistakes), and literally belittling us by verbal abuse. I’ve put up with it for so long since I get along really well with my coworkers. Unfortunately, as of late, I’ve been feeling very mentally drained and unhappy going to work. I dread waking up going to the office and facing my boss. The last 2 assistants had quit because they couldn’t tolerate her anymore. In a way, you never know what the day can bring. One minute she’s happy and in a good mood, and the next she blows up or try to accuse you of any mistakes you make. I already know there’s no changes even if I confront her or talk to her. That’s just how she is. She talks bad behind our back with each coworkers and put words in our mouth that has cause drama between me and my coworkers in the past. Should I leave this job?



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18 Answers

I would take my time and look of another job. Then I would give my 2 week notice once I have found another place I liked. Leave on good terms because you never know when you might need her for a reference. I would not tell her the real reason that you are leaving since you mentioned talking to her does not seem to change things and that might just cause friction between you too when you leave.

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RUN! It will not get better. I agree with Avalene about not burning bridges. Take a month and look around and see what other jobs there are. You do not need to take abuse from anyone. Your not always going to want to go to work……we all want a break sometimes. Hope you find something fast!!

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Definetly start looking for another job ASAP. I admire you for sticking with it for 2 years. Each one of us can only tolerate a bad work environment for so long. Just don’t wait so long that you end up ‘blowing’ up at the Dr.

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I worked part time in what sounds like the same office as you for 10 years. I stayed so long because being part time I could tolerate it better and because I loved my patients and coworkers. You described my boss to a tee! I finally did leave but left on good terms. She will never see the log in her own eye, just the speck in yours, so no sense pointing out a flaw she will never believe exists. Check out DentalPost.net and start looking for jobs in your area. Set up a LinkedIn profile, you can use it as a resume, and friend anyone and everyone in the dental field. It’s always easier to get a job when you have one. Good luck in your search.

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For your mental and professional health you should look for another office. Constructive criticism is one thing, but manufactured drama is unprofessional. Your current office must have a lot of turnover! The patients notice, and maybe the dentist will notice as well? We are all human, but being kind to each other goes a long way!

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If you have a good relationship with your supply rep, they can be a great source of info on what’s happening in offices in your area. They know about job openings, who’s good to work for and who’s not, etc.

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I agree with the others who say to look for another job but try to leave on good terms. There’s no point in being honest in this situation because nothing is going to change a person like that!

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Look for another job. I couldn’t work for someone I don’t respect and who doesn’t respect me. You could call your local dental association and place your name on a sub list. Also, I found a facebook page for area dental professionals that posts openings daily.

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I think most of the time things dont change because people are who they are…but I have found over the years that its sometimes pro-active to tell the Dr what you dont appreciate infront of a patient…I’m pretty sure when we all see a crappy margin, or a huge overhang, etc etc etc, we handle it tactfully when discussing infront of the patient…I think its perfectly ok to ask for the same courtesy…I think sometimes calling someone out on being a jerk can be done firmly and respectfully…as team members we deserve the ability to communicate good and bad and appreciate each other…I admit I tolerated much more in my younger years when I was less seasoned and confident in all that I do…but I feel learning to expect some respect as a person and worker is something thats important to our self worth…saying “what your doing is not ok with me” is perfectly fine and necessary sometimes…but speak for you, not the office…If its well recieved and realized others can follow your lead…if things continue simply put in your notice…but if you love your coworkers and your patients its worth a shot…most of the time Dr’s pull crap with those they know they can get away with it…because its ultimately about them not necessarily you…a GOOD boss takes up actual issues with you in private and constructively as a team member….show them the way 😉

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Find another job if you can. No one should have to put up with that.

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I agree with Debbie maybe if you said something to the Dentist she would at least try to change her attitude. You are a clinician and deserve respect as a professional and a person. If she values you she may watch how she treats you if not there’s no reason to take that kind of disrespect . Get outta there!

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RUN do not walk away…ASAP Besides, you already know this answer you just need validation for some reason. Well YOUR health comes first! get out of there 🙂

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Wow, this is like a page out of my own book! Are you sure we don’t work together? haha. I feel your pain, I have often thought of leaving but the jobs are so few and far between and I really do have great benefits and a flexible schedule. Makes it really hard to leave. I did try to leave once and was guilted into staying. I have kicked myself ever since.

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Wow sounds like you’re working for my old boss…lol. Its not worth it , sounds like its time to move on. She is not going to change just begin looking on the side till you find something new doors will open , I am working for a couple of amazing doctors now and feel like a part of something !

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I feel your pain. I am in a similar spot where I don’t look forward to work because of the environment. My boss is picky sometimes and looks for any reason to jump on me and the next moment he notices nothing. The inconsistency is killing me and the up and down mood of not only him but his assistant make work miserable. I have even decided to move on to another line of work I’m so disillusioned. My advise is to get out and try your best to find an office that appreciates you. I have my fingers crossed for you!!!

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Life is too short to deal with this every day. Give your two weeks notice and be confident that something else will come up. If she’s like other dentists I have worked with, she will be angry that you are leaving
and let you go immediately. Use the time to de-stress.

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I’ve been there before and I say get out as soon as you secure another job where the other employees look happy. It’s not worth it to stay.

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If you work 4 day a week, try to filling in those days that you have off, see what office are hiring and find a office that you like it.

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